Wednesday, August 24, 2011

TV Time - How I Would Fix Big Brother

I haven’t blogged in a while because I’m so popular and wanted in so many different places that I’ve just been too busy. Ok, we all know that’s not true – I’ve been sitting my fat ass on the couch and watching what I’d like to vent about today – Big Brother.

I’ve watched Big Brother from day one. There have been people I really liked (Chicken George, Evil Dick, Dr. Will) and some that I literally hate (Brenchel, Jesse, and yes, even Jeff). After 13 seasons though I think the show is worn out and in need of a MAJOR revamp and this is how I think it should be done (CBS, I’m available for hire!):

The Players: No more “veterans” and “newbies”. Do either or but not both. This season has been the biggest snoozefest EVER. Even the newbs are boring – where are the huge blow outs? The all night parties? Would a little creativity kill these people??? Go back to getting clashing personalities and for goodness sake give them more booze! The drunker the better (for viewers anyway).

HOH – It’s time to make this more interesting. Don’t make it a competition every week, mix it up with that, a luck of the draw and America’s choice. Oh, and don’t tell them until right before what it is gong to be. Can you imagine how much crazier it would be the viewers got to play the game with them? Also, they should have to make decisions that will piss people off every week – like choosing the have-nots and appointing someone to be their personal assistant for the week. Oh yes, make them pick someone to be their cook, do their laundry and clean up anything in the house that needs it. That would definitely start some fights or at the very least get some emotion going.

Nominations – I’m so over the way it is done now. If you follow the live feeds at all you always know who is going up before it happens. And the constant stream of people wanting to cut deals they are never going to live up to is just silly. Again, I would bring in an America’s vote a few times, at other times I would make them name the nominations immediately after winning HOH so there can’t be any discussions and for other weeks the HOH  should have to make the nominations in secret in the diary room and they can’t be revealed until it is time to vote. Oh, and if they were revealed, the HOH would automatically go up as well. How crazy would that be???? I know, you are amazed at my brilliance.

The Power of Veto – I hate this part of the game. I don’t mind when someone gets back doored, but usually this is just another snoozefest. Again, this needs to be mixed up – some weeks can be competition as usual, some should be comps played by only those who are not HOH or nominated, some should be a blind draw and some weeks should be no veto at all making the nominations stand as is. And once again, no one should know what is going to happen from week to week – keep them guessing until the last minute and really make them play the game!

Evictions – I would bring back the viewer voting. People are so much more invested in a show when they get to make the decisions and it would throw a kink in the game if the houseguests didn’t know from week to week if they or America would be voting.

Have-Nots – I am over the whole “slop” thing, aren’t you? Make this more interesting by knowing what each houseguests favourite foods are and other things that they can’t live without and take those away. Yes, they can have hard beds but they should also have cold showers, eat only bran flakes and they should have to cook every meal for the Havs. Payback here would be a bitch!

The Feeds - I would also put the 24/7 feeds back to free, but we all know that will NEVER happen, so I’ll just leave it.

There are some other elements that I would add, like the ability for the house guests to request that the truth be told via a replay of a conversation. I would allow each house guest this privilege twice per season and if not such conversation existed, they would be told that too. Catching people in their lies is so much fun, why not create some more drama in the house? Also, I would send everyone who is evicted to another house for the rest of the summer – no one goes home until the end and we can watch them figure out things as another person enters. Fun, right? Now, if they really wanted to get crazy, have 2 houses start out with the same # of people, and then merge them at the halfway point and see what happens – just like survivor only they would never expect it! And how do you get them down to the numbers needed? An eviction a day until they get down to jury #’s. Oh yes, this could work!

Oh there is one last thing, the host. I don’t know of anyone who actually likes Chenbot, but she has got to go. She has been awful from DAY ONE yet here she is, 13 seasons later still doing an believably bad job. If there was ever a marriage I wanted to break up it is hers so that she would get the boot. If they had someone who was really into the show as the host it would be so much better. They could ask the GOOD questions and maybe even interact with fans. I wouldn’t be opposed to previous house guests doing it, as long as it isn’t some losers like Brenchel. Pick people who can actually string an intelligent sentence together and who other people, viewers included, can stand to watch.
So that’s it, that is how I would fix this show that I used to love but now just annoys me with the repetitive garbage we’re watching this summer.

What do you think?