Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Food and Wine Festival Round Up

So my little buddy died this weekend. Steve and I have been together for 10 years and he's taking a lot of my secrets to birdie heaven with him. He left behind his long term girlfriend, Elaine, who is none to pleased with his disappearance and is letting me know all day long. Poor girl, doesn't she know her constant nagging is what drove him to the grave???

In other news, I played in my first official curling game on Friday night and we only lost 11-2. That's an improvement over our last game loss of 17-1 (I didn't play in that one though). At one point during the game DE, who was skipping for us this game, comes up to me and says "J and B are throwing really great shots". Message received, thanks asshole! We're hoping that this week we can keep the other team to 10 points or less. Or maybe, just maybe, we could pull off a win (if the other team doesn't show up we win, and we'll take it!). We should fare better when we get moved down to the bottom division, we're good at dominating other teams of assholes.

Saturday was the Rocky Mountain Food and Wine Festival. This had disaster potential written all over it given it was BC, TB and I to start with and then BF and AM joined us later. Our first trip around was pretty much in line with the rest of the snobs there - we tasted different wines and checked out which foods we would try later in hopes that they would soak up the booze. I was actually looking for a specific wine I had tried last year but couldn't remember the name of so every table I was asking "do you have a spicy white wine?" and they would proceed to give me free samples to see if that's what I was looking for. TB blew my cover about halfway through - hey it's not my fault if I can work the system for free wine!
During our second round we added in a few more beers and began drinking much faster and I did yell at TB once ( I was just trying to yell at her before she yelled at me, as she inevitably does when we're out). BF joined us and he immediately starts double fisting the tiny beers - "Steam Whistle is the New Co-op!" he declared, referencing Beerfest earlier this year when he drank so much cheap co-op beer that they actually cut him off. Our third round is where things really picked up. AM made his way down from work (super nerd!) and jumped right in on the shots with us. We finally decided that it was time to dive into the Absinthe, which will now forever be known as "assmouth" thanks to AM, and 4 shots later we were all feeling pretty damned invincible. It was at this time that Tabby asked me why I wasn't wearing a Bumpit and I told her because they are for white trash and I will not make it that easy for people to identify me. BF then pipes in and says "What's wrong with bunk beds? R and I had them when we were kids". Oh drunk BF, you are so goofy, we said BUMPIT, not BUNKBED!
Big Rock saved us at the end of the night when we still had tickets left and they let us cash them all in for a bunch of beers which we shot like water before we headed to the casino. There wasn't too much more excitement there, BC made new friends as usual, BF went home not long after we got there and for once we all made money when we finally rolled out of there at 2am. I left with $225 which was enough to pay for my night so I was happy - plus I like having $100 bills in my wallet, it makes me feel like I'm more important than I am (insert rolly eyes here).

Oh I forgot, we totally got reverse rascismed on Sat night! AM, our token Asain, called to tell us he was there and we waited and we waited and when he finally showed up we asked him the heck took him so long? His answer: "You try finding you four white people in here". We look around, pretty much everyone was groups of 4 white people. ha ha!

Random thoughts:
Our civic election was yesterday and for the first time ever my guy won! He's only 3 years older than me which makes me think what the hell am I doing with my life when this guy is mayor and I was sitting on the couch eating cookies watching him become mayor.

I'm still going to they gym and I still hate it. I wish my fellow fatties would come out and try to get healthier with me, it's getting to the point where I might have to start snapping the skinny twigs in half just to slow them down a little.

I figured out why I'm scared of Spiders - they move way faster than me and I don't like that

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Miners, Diners and Whiners

I've just spent the last 24 hours watching the Chilean miners be rescued. This is the most amazing thing I think I've ever seen and looking at this rescue should give everyone some perspective on life. My only concern is that they are so happy about bringing the miners home that they are going to forget about the rescue workers and they are going to have to live underground. Also, the Chilean Mining Minister is kind of hot.

So how was your Thanksgiving long weekend? Mine was pretty good. I didn't over stuff myself on turkey dinner for the first time EVER and I saved my sister's dog from certain death (She will in fact eat anything, anytime, anywhere). We had dinner at my parents place, and seriously, immediately after dinner everyone else went downstairs and watched TV (read: fell asleep) while my mom and I cleaned up (I'm not going to lie, she cleaned up). My parents are heading down to Texas for the winter in a couple of weeks so now I wonder, where are all of us kids going to eat on weekends for the next 6 months??? Moms diner is the only place I can afford these days.

Sat was also my brother's 40th bday party and in order to avoid a break up BF and I decided it would be best for us to cab it to and from so that we could both drink. I was going to drink anyway, really it was just him who would have to be DD - now do you see why I don't have my licence? hee hee. The party was a good time. We went through 2 bottles of Jager and my brother was passed out shortly after 11pm. I think the excitement of recieving that new walker (with seat and brakes!) really wore him out.

So we never made it to the corn maze, which was pretty disappointing to me (yeah, I whined about it several times), but everyone (except me and BF) were hungover disasters so it was probably best to not scare the small children by us showing up looking like death. Right? Next year for sure though - BF and I already have plans for a milk off (they have fake cows) and I'm sure the corn cannon will produce some sort of a story that will be turned into a PSA.

This week I play my first curling game. We've had 3 practices but I'm still concerned that we might not make the Olympics any time soon. Maybe we should play for another country, like Albania or Nigeria - I bet one of those Nigerian Prince's could sponsor our team! I wish I could get some video of us in action because I usually fall over and my sister is SO cranky and swears like a trucker for the whole 2 hours, it's actually quite comical. We did get matching jackets though, so at least we will look like we're supposed to be on the ice.

Random thougts:
It's almost time to get my annual smelly pine cones for the Fall/Winter season. They are the closest thing I have to a plant - A bowl full of brown, dead useless plant.
I was sure I saw a UFO last week. For the 4th time in my life. No anal probes yet.
Civic election on Monday - Only losers don't vote. Don't be a loser! In case you care, I'm voting for Nenshi - I think he is the best choice to take this city and move it forward and the least likely to spend city $'s on hookers and blow.
Nickels annoy me.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Bitches, Ditches and Stitches

Nothing really exciting has been going on around her and I don't want to blog just to take up space so that's why I haven't posted in a while But here's the roundup:.

BC and a couple other "friends" went out on a Sat night a couple of weeks ago and the other two ending up ditching us. Really? Who does that? No courtesy text that they were leaving, nothing. Yeah, that's what I call a friend! BC and I ended up getting separated and didn't know the other 2 had left so it was a disaster all around. The 15 jager bombs he and I had probably didn't help and we're quite sure we were probably 2 feet apart, walking around in circles looking for other but we never met up again. Ranchman's can be a confusing place when you're smashfaced, wearing eye patches and being hit on by Captain Morgan. At the end of the day, I've decided to cull my friend list. When I can't support you're actions and am embarrassed of your behavior it's time to call it quits. Life's too short to be a bitch or be treated like a piece of shit and neither of the girls cared anyway.

BF and I went to the Palomino to see Hayes Carll a couple of weeks ago and it was great. The only shitty thing about that venue is that it is in the basement and there are only about 20 chairs and 6 tables for 200 people. Now I'm not a stander, so thank goodness we got in line early and BF scored us the last table and last 2 chairs in the joint (they were plastic lawn chairs but that suited me just fine). I also noticed that both exits were in the same location so if there was a fire (which I was sure there was going to be) we were all going to die. We didn't die, but I'm still a little uneasy about that set up.They have a nice big bar with fast service and the bathrooms were big and fairly clean (bathrooms are very important to me. I can't go into dirty public bathrooms because my head spins out of control with that must have happened to get it that dirty and what diseases I am sure to leave with).

I went with my mom to some sort of crafting/quilting show at the Round Up Center and found some neat new projects that I will work on never. I bought some more fabric for a quilt that will not see the light of day and got excited about scrapbooking projects that I have no intention of starting (or finishing).

We (my family and our SO's) have also started curling on Friday nights. So far we've had 2 practices and 1 game and the only Olympics we'll be making are the Special ones, although if you know my family that sounds about right. Our dad is coaching us but he laughs at us more than anything (even though he says we've improved already). You may be asking yourselves, why curling? Well, it only takes 2 hours, the whole family can participate and it's in the rules that you have to go for drinks after every game with the team you played. For reals! Also, throwing rocks on ice, how could that possibly go wrong????

Other than that, it's been all quiet on the home front. We have s few things going on this weekend that may be fun to report back. Want a hint? Corn Cob launcher. Oh yeah!