Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Calgarians Shocked By Winter. Again.

It's November 16 and we've had our first big storm of the season. The phrases most uttered today were "I can't believe it snowed!", "Can you believe how bad the roads were this morning?" and my favorite "I wasn't ready for this AT ALL!". To the people who have spoken these words today I have one work for you: REALLY???? Did you think that this was the year that the California coastline was going to push up to the 49th and it was going to be sunny and warm all year?
The snow doesn't surprise me, it doesn't even phase me anymore. I grew up in Lethbridge and was used to waiting for the bus in -30 degrees and windy as fuck conditions. You had to bundle up to STAY ALIVE and you had to be prepared to bundle up from Sep - June because you never knew when shit was going to go sideways and you would walk out of work into a snowicane (I'm trademarking that term so don't even THINK about using it!).

Things are a little bit different today,  however. I work from home, wake up to 2 feet of snow, make my hot chocolate and enjoy my nice warm fireplace while I watch the suckers stuck on 17th try to fight their way into the office where they can tell their coworkers about just how bad the roads were (just in case they didn't already know). Even before I worked form home on a full time basis, I would exercise the telecommute option when it was really crappy out not just to avoid waiting for a Calgary transit bus that would never come, but mostly so that I wouldn't have to hear your stupid stories about icy roads and how you had to brush your car off in the dark. Even before work, when I was in college, I would take snow days. I know what you're thinking, snow days=drinking days, but news flash: every day in college was a drinking day. Snow days were for recovery, watching the View and napping intermittently.  Ahhhh the good 'ole days. But now cars have heated seats, kids are apparently too delicate to wait outside for the bus and parking on the street and having to brush your car off is for losers. I may not have a car, but I sure as hell have a heated underground parking spot for my visitors (mostly for my BF - I'm NOT getting into a cold car thankyouverymuch).

So what does this first snowfall mean for me? Not much really. It means I won't go for long walks through the neighborhood (which I never did anyway), I won't walk or take the bus to the grocery store (for $8 Sunterra will do my shopping and deliver it to me. Hello new level of laziness which I actually discovered a few years ago and have been abusing ever since!) and I will be cursing every unshoveled sidewalk that I have to walk over (which is basically none, but I have to have something to complain about).

I'm thinking about skiing again this year, I haven't done it since I broke my ankle 3 years ago but there is nothing like standing on top of a mountain and then swooshing down the hill spraying snow children and other crappy skiers who can't stay up on their skis. I'll keep you posted on this endeavor, it could be a death trap because I'm so old and generally fall over at odd times so I may end up being one of those losers who gets carted off the hill on sled by the ski patrol (if I was single, this would be a pick up trick).

Well, I'm going to 7-11 for a hot chocolate. I swear they put crack in that shit because I'm so lazy I won't go downstairs to check the mail but I'll sure as hell bundle up and walk across the street for it. Hmmmm, I wonder if they would deliver it for 5 bucks?

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What Remembrance Day Means to Me

Tomorrow is November 11, Remembrance Day here in Canada, and it is the day we honor our military personnel with ceremonies and thank them for their continued service.
I won't claim to come from a large military family - my aunt and her partner both served in administrative roles and my grandpas served in the World Wars, although I really know nothing about what they did and sadly their medals and other memorabilia is long gone. I myself was an Air Cadet for several years as a teen and participated in many wreath laying ceremonies as color guard and other ceremonial positions (I have some great Air Cadet stories but I will save those for a more appropriate time) and I was also part of choirs and groups who sang and/or recited In Flanders Fields (see below) on many occasions so I still feel a strong connection  to November 11.
Last year, on Dec 23rd, one of BF's best friends brother was killed in Afghanistan while serving our great country and I will never forget how we found out. It was Boxing Day and we were at his parents house watching Hockey Night in Canada when at the intermission Don Cherry did his usual salute to the troops and honor to those who had been killed in the past week. He gets very emotional when he has to report a soldiers death and when he said Lt. Andrew Nuttall I just stared at the TV thinking "please don't let that be J's brother" over and over. BF didn't say anything for what seem like hours, but after a minute or so he confirmed that it was indeed his brother. I didn't know him, BF had met him once or twice, but it was still a hard pill to swallow knowing that his best friend was spending Christmas dealing with this loss. It has been a rough year for the Nuttall family and I'm sure the Christmas  is never going to be the same for them again. I know that the military has been taking good care of them and they have been involved in several ceremonies over the year like this one, so I feel like the least I can do is get my butt out of bed early and get out to one of the services and show some support for those who are missing their loved ones and honor those who have made the ultimate sacrfice.

In Calgary, the services are here (taken from Metro Calgary) :

The Military Museum, located at 4520 Crowchild Tr. SW, will host a service at 10:45 a.m.

A service will be held at the Naval Museum of Alberta at 1820–24th St. SW, which will begin at 11 a.m.

The Jubilee Auditorium, at 16 Avenue and 14 Street NW, will also host a ceremony at 10 a.m.

A ceremony and wreath laying at Central Memorial Park will begin at 11 a.m.

After the services you can hit up a Legion or the Miners Club and get smash faced with the Veterans and their families. What? That's what they do and God Bless 'em for it!

In Flanders Fields By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918) Canadian Army
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders Fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders Fields.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Do I hate kids or parents? Some days it's a toss up.

Update, Nov 9, 2010

Just as I thought, these whiny bastards are getting $1000 from Alaska Airlines. I saw one comment that said they were going to start a blog called "Alaska Airlines Hates Responsible People" (the original assholes started a blog called "Alaska Airlines Hates Families") and that just about sums up my thoughts on it. People like this that want the world to cave to them disgust me and I hope karma gets them back 10 fold. Remember, it's you and I, the airlines customers who play by the rules who end up paying for these schmucks and now that the precedent has been set how many more idiot sticks are going to come out of the woodwork when they are too moronic to look at a clock and figure out what time it is? Stop the insanity!


Maybe it's not the kids I don't like, maybe it's parents that fuel my hate.
This story is all over the papers today: Diaper disaster ends in travel mess for Edmonton newlyweds and if you are too lazy to read it, the gist of it is that the parents arrived at the gate 20 mins before their flight was scheduled to take off but their baby had an explosive shit episode so the mom went to change it and in the meantime Alaska Airlines gave their seats away because they were not boarded per the airlines posted rules. It then cost the couple $1000 for new tickets to fly home the next day.My 3 words to sum up this story? Boo fucking hoo.

Ok, so we all know I'm not a fan of babies, or children in general, but this isn't the kids fault so I'll look at the stupidity of the parents here.

1. In Las Vegas, Alaska Airlines requires that passengers be checked in and available to board at least 40 minutes before posted departure - it is clearly stated on their website and presumably in the e-ticket info these people would have also received but obviously ignored. Yet this family of mornons clearly state that they "arrived at the gate more than 20 minutes before the plane was scheduled to take off". So were they on time? NO! If they had been on the plane and the kid shit himself they would have pissed people off around them with the smell etc. but there's no rules broken in that (see, I understand that kids being a stinky pain in the ass isn't illegal).

2. So they were admittedly late and they are pissed because Alaska Airlines followed their own rules to keep the flight departing on time thus not holding up the other 100+ passengers on the plane. From that I gather here, just because you have a kid that means that rules no longer apply to you, correct? Um, I don't think so. These people also believe that because they have a kid that their time is more important than everyone else's in the world so delaying the boarding process specifically for them is a no brainer and the rest of the people who were there and on the plane on time and ready to go mean nothing. The best part is that they are completely unapologetic for being late!

3. "The company offered Blais and Roberge each a $400 travel voucher as a "service gesture," said another spokeswoman, but they have so far declined".
"With memories of their wedding weekend forever tainted, Blais said they want an apology and $1,000. "I don't think I'm asking for anything unreasonable here.It was a terrible, stressful experience. But I'm not asking for any emotional damages. I just want them to pay me back for what it cost me to get home."

So Alaska Airlines puts forth a good will gesture which they didn't have to do but that isn't good enough and you're doing them a favor by not seeking emotional damages and publicly posting that "Alaska Airlines Hates Families?" Are you kidding me???? What about the emotional damages of the world having to deal with people like this who have a sense of entitlement and believe that the world revolves around them? Where do I sign up for emotional damages for THAT? Also, I hope Alaska sues this couple for slander on the hating families bit.If anyone hates families it's Las Vegas - God bless Vegas for that!

4. Who the hell flies through Seattle to or from Vegas/Edmonton? What were they trying to save, like $25 a ticket to extend the trip by hours? When you have a little poop machine with you just pay the extra few bucks and fly direct you cheap ass bitches! It's long trips and changing planes and the like that make kids cranky and piss off the rest of the plane (and I'm sure it can't be fun for the parents either). I also wonder where they stayed, I bet it was Circus Circus for $29/night - bedbugs included at no extra charge!

5. You took your 9 month old to Vegas for your wedding. Seriously. How do you stay out all night getting smash faced and gambling too much when you have a 9 month old with you? Oh, you were there to see the sights? The sights are hookers and blow, what the fuck were you thinking?

I have a feeling that in the end the stupid people might win this one, but then what? Where will we ever draw the line? These people went to Vegas, gambled that Alaska Airlines wouldn't enforce the rules on them and lost.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Mexican Curling Team

So last Friday at the curling club they had a Halloween party and we decided to go as The Mexican Curling Team.

This worked for us for 3 reasons:
1. We looked awesome.
2. Everyone loves a creepy mustache
3. We curl about as well as a team of real Mexicans would

Obviously, we didn't win our game because we never do, but we gave the other team a good run for their money and we had a great time. J and D left early which thwarted our run at best group costume, but never fear, the best couple was:

This week is back to our regular team uniform (we're the only ones who dress alike, it's very intimidating to other teams until they play us and see just how terrible we are). I'm also skipping this week - and to you who think that means I'm not going to the game it actually means I'm the captain and will call the shots on the ice. I hope I don't eff this up!

In other news, I hate Calgary transit more and more every week but because I refuse to go into debt for a car right now I'm kind of stuck. Yesterday a 15 minute trip by car took me 2 hours on 1 shuttle, a train and 2 buses(when you pay your fare you get a ticket that is good for 90 minutes). I can't even get from the mall to home on one ticket anymore! You could pretty much see that my head was about to explode by the end of that trip but what can I do? I can't blame the bus drivers, it's not their fault. I call and complain but they don't care either...hello, they all have cars! I'm still not sure why drivers make $25+ an hour - unskilled and protected by the union, nice gig if you can stand driving around thousands of ungrateful assholes every day.

I joined my buildings condo board and last night was our first meeting. Guess who got elected President? I didn't even ask or suggest it be me, the people just knew it was right. ha ha! I think we have a good board and we are putting things into action that have been stalled for months and some even for years. The new board had no problem making decisions - our new motto is Git R Done! Well, maybe that's just my  motto, but I am the Prez, so....

That's it, it's been a pretty quiet week. Have a good weekend!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The Craziest Work Email I Have Ever Recieved

So every couple of months my company sends out a newsletter which contains info that will assist them on the compliance side of their business (because that's what I do, compliance stuff). It is not meant to spam anyone but when you have several thousand people on your distribution list you have people that ask to be unsubscribed which we do immediately upon request. 99% of the people on our list appreciate the information we send, but I guess I crapped in someone's con flakes because this morning I got this:

To: The lovely compliance ladies  (that would be me and B)
From: A crazy Asshole (I should put his email on here just so everyone else can show him what spam is all about!)

Guys, how the fuck did I get on this shit list?

What gives spamming me with this shit?

 Our thought to this was "where did this guy get his manners from?" After a good laugh and a coffee I responded to him with this:

To: The Asshat who clearly hasn't been laid in years, if ever
From: A Ray of Sunshine in Your Cloudy Day

Mr. Asshat,
Our newsletter is sent to those who are listed as contacts for publicly traded companies and contains information relevant to their operations.

Upon investigation I have not found your email address "asshat@gmail.com" listed in our database which receives communication from us. If you are connected with a public company it is possible that another email address is forwarded to you (i.e. and info@pucliccompany) and this is how you received our newsletter. If that is the case please let me know what email address should be removed and I will be happy to unsubscribe you immediately.

Best Regards,

Now I thought that was a pretty decent response giving him every opportunity to provide me with further information to remove him from our list. Well, I guess he didn't like it too much because this is what I just got back:

To: The Girls Just Trying to Make a Living
From: Some Coked Out Whack Job Who is Likely Up In The Clock Tower As We Speak

What kind of fucking bullshit is that???????????

I am CFO of 8 TSX-V listed companies, how the fuck am I supposed to know which email you sent it to, you are the bitches that fucking sent it! I have never dealt with you in the past and consider this spam! Just because an email is in the public domain does not give you the right to fucking spam people.

Now get me off this fucking bullshit list!

SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?!? Did this crack smoking nut job just write and send that email? This has to be a joke, right? The best part is, he didn't tell me which companies so there is nothing I can do and I have now blocked him and he will be on our email list for all eternity. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. People are so stupid!

I'll let you know if I hear anything more....crazy is just too fun not to share!