Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Calgarians Shocked By Winter. Again.

It's November 16 and we've had our first big storm of the season. The phrases most uttered today were "I can't believe it snowed!", "Can you believe how bad the roads were this morning?" and my favorite "I wasn't ready for this AT ALL!". To the people who have spoken these words today I have one work for you: REALLY???? Did you think that this was the year that the California coastline was going to push up to the 49th and it was going to be sunny and warm all year?
The snow doesn't surprise me, it doesn't even phase me anymore. I grew up in Lethbridge and was used to waiting for the bus in -30 degrees and windy as fuck conditions. You had to bundle up to STAY ALIVE and you had to be prepared to bundle up from Sep - June because you never knew when shit was going to go sideways and you would walk out of work into a snowicane (I'm trademarking that term so don't even THINK about using it!).

Things are a little bit different today,  however. I work from home, wake up to 2 feet of snow, make my hot chocolate and enjoy my nice warm fireplace while I watch the suckers stuck on 17th try to fight their way into the office where they can tell their coworkers about just how bad the roads were (just in case they didn't already know). Even before I worked form home on a full time basis, I would exercise the telecommute option when it was really crappy out not just to avoid waiting for a Calgary transit bus that would never come, but mostly so that I wouldn't have to hear your stupid stories about icy roads and how you had to brush your car off in the dark. Even before work, when I was in college, I would take snow days. I know what you're thinking, snow days=drinking days, but news flash: every day in college was a drinking day. Snow days were for recovery, watching the View and napping intermittently.  Ahhhh the good 'ole days. But now cars have heated seats, kids are apparently too delicate to wait outside for the bus and parking on the street and having to brush your car off is for losers. I may not have a car, but I sure as hell have a heated underground parking spot for my visitors (mostly for my BF - I'm NOT getting into a cold car thankyouverymuch).

So what does this first snowfall mean for me? Not much really. It means I won't go for long walks through the neighborhood (which I never did anyway), I won't walk or take the bus to the grocery store (for $8 Sunterra will do my shopping and deliver it to me. Hello new level of laziness which I actually discovered a few years ago and have been abusing ever since!) and I will be cursing every unshoveled sidewalk that I have to walk over (which is basically none, but I have to have something to complain about).

I'm thinking about skiing again this year, I haven't done it since I broke my ankle 3 years ago but there is nothing like standing on top of a mountain and then swooshing down the hill spraying snow children and other crappy skiers who can't stay up on their skis. I'll keep you posted on this endeavor, it could be a death trap because I'm so old and generally fall over at odd times so I may end up being one of those losers who gets carted off the hill on sled by the ski patrol (if I was single, this would be a pick up trick).

Well, I'm going to 7-11 for a hot chocolate. I swear they put crack in that shit because I'm so lazy I won't go downstairs to check the mail but I'll sure as hell bundle up and walk across the street for it. Hmmmm, I wonder if they would deliver it for 5 bucks?

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