Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I Heart Chickens

So we didn't make it to the football game. The weather was too iffy and  I refused to sit in bleacher seats so we watched the game at my brother's place and had cake and ice cream for dinner. I also had cake for breakfast this morning becuase I thought I started at the gym this week. Turns out it's not until next week, so I'll be shovelling chocolately treats in as much as I can until the gym torture begins again. I hate the gym, but you'll hear more about that at a later date.

On Sunday I met BC for coffee and umbrella shopping before we found a bench to watch the Pride parade. BF decided to stay home and study which was probably for he best since half naked guys dancing on a float to Britney Spears isn't really how he likes to spend a Sunday afternoon...
Things at the parade started out a little shaky when I was getting hit on by more men than BC (see how I clarified it was by men? I wasn't wearing my lesbian shoes for a reason this weekend!) but the tides turned and BC didn't end up having to throw me in a puddle or light a fire for attention. Crisis averted. There was also a fake mustache club...this caught me by surprise because I've wanted to have a  fake mustache party for over a year now - except I don't want to do the same things that these ladies do. Feel free to google it.

So after the parade we made our way down to Olympic Plaza to check out the after parade party and inadvertently ended up IN the parade at one point...but I was just looking for more candy. As we're wandering around we come to a t-shirt booth and I stop, stare and am thoroughly confused at a shirt something like the this (ps - google now thinks I'm a gay man after searching that):

"I *heart* chicken" What? I love chicken but I don't need a shirt advertising it. And what does this have to do with the gays? I don't get it. Wait...chickens...roosters..cock...OMG that's a dirty shirt! I giggled to myself because I'm immature and then laugh at my stupidity. Next year I really think BC needs his own parade float - he could have all of his fag hags with him (he has a harem), Bella (my sister's Chihuahua, not that vampire girl from the stupid movies) could have some sort of a rainbow bed and I'm sure my brother would dress up in drag just for good measure. We need to make this happen people! Oh, BF could drive the truck - there were lots of straight guys driving the trucks/floats because you know that had to be left to either them or the lesbos.

Now, the rest of the weekend was covered by spending time with BF and dog sitting for my neighbor. Turns out, I am NOT a dog person and waking up early on weekends to feed and walk the dog are not my thing. I like to sleep in, make bacon and have naps. I don't like picking up poop, stinky dog breath and dogs who swat my zucchini bread off the counter and eat the whole damn loaf! Dog's mom comes back tonight so my dog sitting days are over.

I'm not sure what's going on this week other than this stupid wedding - some friends of ours are getting married on Saturday and probably divorced on Sunday. This could be a complete gong show so I'll report back if it is, otherwise I'll let you know if I win the divorce pool. They also just decided that it is going to be a toonie bar. Like just decided this week. You can't do that, you have to put that shit on the invitation! I realize $2 is not a big deal, but when you can afford a $40,000 golf membership you can damn well pay for drinks for 60 people at your wedding. Cheap people suck! Out of principal I refuse to spend any money at this shit fiesta so I hope my brother brings a pocket full of toonies to cover me!

I feel like a slurpee. Later skaters!

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